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Those of you who talk to me on a regular basis will know that I think of myself as much older than my ID would tell you. Years of hard work on my body, life guarding every summer and water polo during the school year, have left their mark in broken bones, trick joints, and general aches in the morning. The fact that I have had employment of some sort, non stop, since the day I turned 16, gives me a sense of both weariness and contemplation that I seldom see in anyone born in my decade, let alone anyone my age. I've been known to use phrases such as "back in the day. . . Sitagliptin 25mg pills $104.00 . " In short, I'm basically an old fogey. But this old-at-heart world view does have it's little perks here and there. I find contentment and peace in the simplest of things; a task completed, the first drop of rain, young people in love, flowers blooming at midnight sitagliptin 25mg pills $104.00, or shared memories. Nostalgia is one of those slippery words. It's from the Greek words for "homecoming" and "distress. " Literally, it's the pain that one feels when one cannot return home. It was, in fact, thought of as a disease, the ultimate form of homesickness. Such a concise definition, and still so lacking in context and depth. It's so very important that the word used is "home. " Not house, nor city, nor country. Not bed, nor chair. It refers to the place where we feel safe, where we feel comfortable, where we are at peace. It can be anything from a family house to a RV on the road to any beach, anywhere to Sin City or the City of Angels. And so, over time, it came to mean as well the pain that comes when things that are not places leave us behind. Because a home is not just a building, or a place. A home is filled with people, ties that bind throughout our lives. A home is filled with mementos, trinkets and knick-knacks, memories frozen on the desk or mantle. Homes are filled with the smell of apple pie and turkey dinner, with the sound of laughter and the sound of love-making, with joy and despair and always, always hope. The internet gives us such wonderful tools, and Dictionary. com is a fine reference. Even here, though, the word is hard to grasp. There are seven different definitions, from seven different sources, and none of them the same. Perhaps the meaning can only be well grasped with the knowledge of each of them. But I like this one: "A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past. " It is short and simple. But that one word. . . bittersweet. Such a perfect fit. Because the feeling is not pain, not really. It's joy, simple and pure, untainted and untaintable by anything in the now. It is the forever memory of that perfect time, sweeter than any sugar candy. Bitter, too. A hint of acid, the knowledge that the perfect moment is there and we are here. Bitter because we would not perhaps bear it if we had to option to remove it, an unattainable ideal forever compared to our now. And bitter, too, in another sense; bitter in the volume of it, the strength, the power. sitagliptin 25mg pills $104.00 Bitter because it is so sweet, so much more so than anything in comparison that we must borrow other words to lend strength to this one insufficient adjective. As I said, I'm old. Perhaps this appreciation is born of that. After all, we are not a culture to embrace nostalgia. We are forever looking forward, to the next victory, the next love, the next perfect moment. Why then, would any of us choose willingly [sitagliptin 25mg pills $104.00] to look back? Or perhaps this feeling is born out of the volume of my life, compressed into so small a container. And so this nostalgia is then merely a leaky seal, something slightly flawed but that will eventually solve itself. Or perhaps the more terrific idea is true. That I am truly blessed, where others have not been, by these perfect moments. That this sweetest of memories is to be denied to others, shared and grasped only by the few. That this bittersweet fruit is a rare delicacy, found only by chance and never again. Whatever the reason, whatever the luck, I savor these moods when they come upon me. Like the finest of wines, the richest of steaks, or the sweetest of desserts, this is food for my soul.


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